Self Harm ireland - Recovering from self harm

Recovering from Self Harming

Recovering from self-injury is a journey and a process.
The reasons someone begins self-injuring are complex. Likewise, the emotions surrounding recovery may be difficult and complicated, too. You may want to stop, but doubt your ability to do so. You might feel afraid of the possibility of a future without self-injury and wonder how you will cope without it.

The thought of giving up self-injury could bring up feelings of anxiety as well as relief. Perhaps it helps to know that stopping injuring does not mean giving up your thoughts and feelings, but rather learning to embrace, tolerate, and eventually transform them. By even contemplating whether you can overcome self-injury, you have already taken the first step.

Why do you want to stop injuring?
While that may seem like a simple question, often it is not. You might have several well identified reasons for wanting to stop or you may not be able to think of any one particular reason at all – you just know it that it is time to move on. Some reasons people give for wanting to stop include:

They begin to see that they are “growing out” of it – it begins to feel like an immature way to deal with life problems.

They begin to find other, more positive, ways of coping and want to improve their overall mental health

They want to take care of their physical health

The shame, embarrassment or secrecy becomes too overwhelming and uncomfortable

They want to escape pressure and reactions from others

They dislike the physical scars it leaves behind

Because they recognize the pain it causes the people they love

Because self-injury is no longer working or helping them to cope

You may have other reasons not listed here. It is helpful to keep these reasons in mind throughout the recovery process: Knowing why you began the journey can help lead you to where you are going and help you to stay the course when the desire to injure feels really strong.

While it can take a lot of hard work, recovery is possible. Four factors that can help contribute to the recovery process are:

Motivation

Openness and honesty with oneself

An involved support system

Commitment to treatment and self-care Though it may feel overwhelming at first and doubts may arise, your inner strengths and outer support systems can help guide you along the way. Some things you can try to do include:

Keep track of positive things about yourself. Make a list of your strengths and accomplishments. Remind yourself that you and your well-being are important. Setting the right frame of mind can help make the recovery process smoother.

Reach out to family and friends and ask for their support. This is not a journey you need to take alone.

Find a good therapist to help you along the way. Having someone to talk to about your triggers, your past, and the fears you have about moving into your future can be really helpful. It is important to ask for and receive help.

Find a place in your mind or life where you feel safe from harm. Your safe place could be one or more comfortable spots in your mind, home, or a peaceful outdoor location – having multiple safe places is good. It could also be a song, movie, person or memory that makes you feel at ease. Go to this place whenever you feel the urge to injure.

Know that you are not alone. There are others who have journeyed through self-injury and who have learned and grown through sharing their experiences. Sometimes you need to look back to see what is ahead Learning to end self-injury begins with understanding the reasons why you began injuring and why you want to stop. Questions you may want to ask yourself are:

What role does self-injury play in my life?

What change would I most like to see in my life right now?

What things have been helpful to me in the past to keep me from injuring?

What are some things self-injury has kept me from doing?

How will the future look better once I am no longer self-injuring?

What do I need most for myself right now? Keep your answers to these questions in a place where you can refer back to them. They can be a good reminder of why you started the process and may offer guidance when faced with difficult decisions.

If you have friends, family, counsellors or community members you trust, share your answers to these questions with them as well so that they can work together to help keep you on track.